Thoughts in Asgard
by LazarusEffect-Tundra
Summary: Linar thinks about the meaning of saying goodbye while being distracted by Raine and the others. Set somewhere during the time when the group is trying to find the other Summon Spirit of Light. Not really a true poem. Rated out of paranoia.


I was recently digging around the TOS fanfiction area when I failed to find almost any fanfictions about Linar. So I decided to make a lame attempt at writing, erm, poetry. Not good poetry, mind you. Just words randomly indented with very few periods, commas, semi-colons, ect. Which brings me to this.

A look inside Linar's thoughts as he ponders the meaning of goodbye and keeps getting off track.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, anything within it, or Namco.

Reviewing is not required, only appreciated. This might be a bit OOC, but please try and bear with me. I'm out of touch with this sort of thing.

Actually, I'm very out of touch, so this might be extrememly out-of-character. Which is why I ask for some reviews, of course. Heh heh heh...

* * *

Thoughts in Asgard

* * *

Letting go is part of the journey  
It makes us mortal  
Summon Spirits never say goodbye  
Only forever  
All of the birds in the sky  
And the beasts of the land  
Say goodbye in their own little ways

I have to say goodbye to my sister  
To let her off into a whole new world  
With a half-elven idiot with bad luck

Seriously  
He really does have bad luck  
Things falling on top of him  
Tripping over invisible boulders  
Breaking a house by bumping into it

But he's okay  
Strangely enough  
He's my best friend  
More important to me than most  
Even if I do have to follow him around to keep him out of trouble

I also have to say goodbye  
To someone who doesn't even know I said hello  
It's not the way her crystal eyes sparkle  
Or the way her silver-blue hair shines  
Not even the beauty of her smile  
The curve of her lips  
Or the pure perfection that she is

The thing that captivates me is the way she lives  
The strength and confidence in her step  
The grace no human could have  
Her vast knowledge of people and things  
The gorgeous look of excitement on her face  
Her disappointment when she fails  
And how she never gives up on anyone  
People included

She is so wonderful  
So beautiful  
That the whole world pales in comparison  
My tongue is tied whenever she is around  
At the sound of her voice  
I turn into a jabbering idiot

Harley has always been the more outspoken of us  
Even though it took him exactly fifty-two tries  
Before he could propose to my sister without being interrupted  
In the strangest ways  
Such as little kids suddenly appearing  
Rocks falling on them near the dais  
A fish flopping out of his workshop at night  
People screeching about the end of the world  
As an expensive pot crashes to the ground  
As a maid trips overhead  
Because of a strange wild vibration  
After he stomped his foot angrily in front of the cliff  
And the pot falls right in front of him  
As Aisha stares in confusion

But still my heart betrays me  
As I cannot help but freeze in wonder  
As she lifts her hand from caressing the pages of her book  
That she is studying as well as the map before the two of us  
To tuck a stray piece of silvery hair  
Behind her beautifully enchanting ear  
Which is not long and sharp like that of an elf  
Nor boring and bland like mine  
But perfectly mixed  
Into the most gorgeous ear  
Sylvarant has ever seen

Staring at her I know I need help  
For a mortal should never feel this way  
Not for a goddess of knowledge  
A Summon Spirit of wisdom  
An angel of ruins

Maps are her Bibles  
Books the offerings she demands  
Cursing humans to lose their minds  
And barely even care  
For what they have lost

She is a nymph of healing winds  
The Pandora of my heart  
Leading me astray from all thoughts  
And desire of sense

So as I sit here and ponder the essence of goodbye  
I stare at her as she speaks  
Light in her eyes  
A smile on her lips  
And know that she is the most delicate and pure creature  
This world has ever known

As she turns to look at me  
I struggle to recall what she had said  
And I feel the eyes of her companions on my back

A brash child raised with dwarven principles  
And high ideals

A failed Chosen who never gives up  
Even though she has let the world down

An ax-wielder with stony eyes  
Clutching an ax that is almost alive  
One of the people who have come from the moon  
Or so I've been told  
And she makes me almost believe it

A determined young woman with tears in her smile  
Speaking of hardships and blame of something long ago  
That she has never gotten over  
Even though she has been forgiven  
It seems

The confident male at her side  
Strangely quiet for once  
Guarded eyes holding contempt and other things  
That he will never let others know  
Instead hiding behind a person he knows he is not  
But no one seems to tell  
His expression is unreadable  
And frightening in its simplicity  
When no being could ever be as dense and selfish as he claims to be

A man with the air of someone important  
But the look of a criminal  
With eyes that have shed too many tears  
To ever shed another  
Yet punishes himself  
For some unknown reason  
Even I cannot find out  
Unless I ask  
Which feels strange to do  
As I do not know him  
Even as he glances over at the ax-wielder  
With sadness on his face  
That only a lover and a killer would know  
And yet he seems to understand  
With ease about him  
The workings of the world

A half-elf with old eyes  
Too experienced for his young form  
Pain is evident by his glance  
A barely smothered hate for us  
That he seems to turn on all humans he meets  
Protective of but one  
Who brings out the evidence of his youth  
As he transforms before the world  
From an accusing spiteful adult  
Into a blubbering crushing pre-teen  
But I cannot forget  
Even then  
The faith he has in his companions  
And the malice he holds for the rest of us  
The incredible talent that he hides  
A genius in both mind and magic  
Ahead of his age in both  
And in knowledge of pain  
Weakness of heart  
And sorrow  
By many decades he has surpassed  
His youthful age  
In those areas  
And fights in earnest  
All obstacles that threaten his sister  
Who is worthy of such devotion and worship  
If any mortal is

And yet I see none of them  
And barely feel their gazes on my back  
As I raise my hand to rub the back of my head  
And point with my other at the map in front of me  
Tearing my gaze from the immortal beside me  
As my voice betrays my nervousness  
And informs her of all I know of the subject at hand

A part of me cannot comprehend why they would be searching for such a creature  
As Aska can surely be no greater than the creature beside me  
But the rest of my mind stays on focus  
Refusing to leave me here alone  
With no desire for wits or salvation

She studies the map with interest  
Before turning to me  
The strangest expression on her face  
I can feel the blood rushing to mine  
As she leans in far too close  
Her breath intermixing with my own  
As her voice praises some sort of revelation  
That I can only assume I have given her  
By the determination and excitement in her eyes  
As they widen in pure ecstasy at discovering some secret  
That she will never tell anyone else  
But herself  
And her books

The others are backing away from us now  
Seeming ready to run  
But their hearts reminding them not to leave me in such peril  
That they seem to see before their eyes  
As the beautiful goddess in front of me  
Begins to tell us a story  
Forgetting that her face is remarkably close to mine  
And that she is leaning over me  
As I have pressed myself as far away from her as the back of my chair will allow  
And still further yet  
But still my face continues heating up  
A painful betrayal of my nervousness  
And strange fortune at being so close to such a marvelous being  
Without being dead or blind

The young swordsman has already ran  
His companion tripping  
Before chasing after him  
Long blonde hair streaming out behind her  
As she ran from some perilous terror

As the goddess continued  
Her face inching towards mine in excitement  
Her cheeks flushed with exhilaration  
I saw a frightened expression on the other red-haired male's face  
As he whispered something into the ear of the woman beside him  
Apparently only for an excuse to escape  
As she whirled around to face him  
Anger in her eyes  
Righteous fury compelling her to slap him hard across his face  
And he took off  
With only a call of something such as a screaming banshee as an excuse  
Which caused the woman to screech loudly  
And take off after him  
Murder in her eyes

The young half-elven male seems to back away slightly  
The ax-wielder turns to him  
Seemly out of pity  
And asks him to help her sharpen her ax

Which was already more than sharp enough  
Or so the wall seemed to protest  
Concerning the overjoyed reunion it had taken part in  
When seeing the ax for the first time  
As the sharp metal object with almost demonic purposes  
Had attempted to glomp the poor wall  
With mixed results  
As its wielder had stared emotionlessly forward  
Leaving the swordsman named Lloyd to fork over gald to the mayor  
For the intensive damage  
That the wayward ax had unintentionally caused  
With its excitement  
At meeting a new friend

And so I was left alone  
Save for the tall blue-haired man  
Who only nodded in interest out of politeness  
When a glance was sent his way

And as I listened to the woman before me  
Convinced that her forehead would soon be touching mine if she did not stop leaning forward  
I vainly reminded myself that I was not a fool  
But a highly intelligent  
Or so I had been told  
Which I find hard to believe  
Given the current circumstances  
The tightness in my throat  
Combined with my burning face  
My recently discovered muteness  
And my sickness caused by the close proximity of the half-elven woman  
Among other less comfortable things  
That I do not feel the need to think about  
As I try to remind myself that I was not a fool  
But an intelligent fool  
Who was ridiculously attracted to a goddess  
In the form of a half-elf  
Who seemed too absorbed in her own tale  
To consider the strangeness of the situation

The blue-haired male seemed to pity me  
Once he realized that I had stopped breathing as a result of the ridiculously non-existent space between us  
And stepped forward  
Reminding her that the reason for their visit  
Were not the ruins of some lost continent on the moon  
But to see if I could assist them in discovering the position of the bird-like companion of Luna

And so she blinks  
Turning to face him  
Before turning back to face me  
As our noses touch  
And she pauses for a moment  
Wondering how she ended up almost laying on top of me  
As I stare right back at her  
My face crimson  
And she leans away from me in pure confusion  
At how she had come to be so close to her supposed colleague  
Who must have looked about ready to die  
For I have no doubt that he felt ready to die right then  
And be carried away to some place that seems to escape my mind  
Where all the good little humans go  
After being scared  
Oddly attracted  
And utterly embarrassed  
By  
To  
And by again respectively  
A goddess equal in glory with Martel  
Bless Her immortal soul

And I once again pondered the idea of leaving someone  
And of saying goodbye  
Knowing that I must say goodbye to my dear sister  
Even though she'd still be near me all of the time  
And of saying goodbye to a best friend  
Saying hello instead to a former best friend turned brother-in-law  
And wondering why I  
Of all people  
Was blessed and cursed  
By this beauty before me

Rubbing the back of my head  
I told her it was no big deal  
As if I was accustomed to such a strange thing that had just happened  
When in reality she had only done it twice before  
Once when I helped her find the Summon Spirits of Wind  
And again when I had helped her carry her numerous books  
To place them on the back of an already well-loaded down protozoan  
Whom Lloyd called a dog  
But insisted his name was Noishe  
To which I was almost sad that I had studied Protozanian four years ago  
As to be spared the protests of the abused creature  
Who was always mistaken for a dog  
For it seemed that only Miss Raine had enough sense to know a protozoan when she saw one  
Although she herself has called him a dog  
Which confuses me  
For I know she must be informed of his legendary lineage  
By her strong will to dissect him

And as the blue-haired man and my goddess leave the house  
I once again force myself to ponder the meaning of leaving someone behind  
And I know in my heart my love is a doomed one  
For the half-elven goddess  
Who is perfect in every way  
(Even in cooking  
Which her companions did not eat  
And Harley outright refused ever to eat again  
But I found delicious  
Albeit a little strange tasting)  
Could never love one such as me  
Never a human who turns to mush just hearing her name  
(To which I am indignant  
As only Harley should  
And does  
Act this way around a female  
Although for him  
It is my sister  
And boulders fall whenever he tries to talk to her  
Barely missing some innocent passerby  
In most cases)  
And was completely undeserving of her presence  
Not to mention that she would live to be at least  
One thousand years of age  
While I would only live about seventy  
Which is in approximately forty-six years  
If I live that long  
In which I will grow to be old  
And she will remain just as young as ever

But I have to wonder  
If leaving people behind makes one mortal  
Then what does watching them go make one?

Her voice carries as the man steers her away from my house  
Yelling something about going on an excavation with me in the future  
To discover some ancient artifact of lore  
And to learn the secrets of some civilization of short rude mini-dwarves  
Who called themselves gnomelettes  
And I cannot help but smile and rub the back of my head  
In my characteristic way  
As I knew that this time  
A goodbye  
Would not be so hard to make  
As it would someday turn into a hello  
Which made me smile even more  
Even though I know I look like a fool  
Smiling as I wave goodbye out my window  
At Miss Raine  
Who tries to motion dignifiedly back at me  
As she and the man round the corner  
Towards the entrance up to the dais  
Towards Aska  
And saving the world

My only regret is that I cannot watch her do so  
As she goes off healing her companions  
Saving them from eminent doom  
And I can't help but wish I was Noishe  
So I would never have to say goodbye  
And instead be with her  
For over one thousand years  
Which would be too short a time  
To spend anywhere but at her side

And as Aisha taps my shoulder  
Watching me stare off into the distance  
Wondering if my mind is still in Asgard  
I cannot help but think  
That maybe goodbye isn't part of the journey that makes us mortal  
But the beginning of a new chapter of our lives  
And the bittersweet end of another.


End file.
